Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
