i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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