Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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