things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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