I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
