please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
