she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
