the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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