hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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