Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
