I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
