I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
do herpes really smell.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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