I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
