Just took my morning after pill in the library
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
