I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
