if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
