how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
