He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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