I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
