No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
