Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
