You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
