My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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