And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
