She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
