apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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