so let's talk penis.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
