you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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