whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
