Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
