Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
