peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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