I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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