I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
3pm strippers are depressing
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
