Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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