i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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