I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
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