ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
