Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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