I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
