remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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