So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Randomize
