You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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