ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
