I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
