he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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