Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
i need some magic done to my vagina
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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