I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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