Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
