I saw his package. It spoke to me.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Randomize
