Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Someone came in the potted fern
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
