are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
