Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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