After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
